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Simpson Group Favorite Quotes

*Quotes presented in this page do not reflect the official view regarding various topics, including safety, math and science, of the Simpson Group.

Casey: "Hilary check your email!"

Hilary: "Oh no, did we get a review."

---Email about new first years joining group.

"The authors understand that math is hard. We are going to do it anyway."

---Casey in reply to reviewer comments.

"Echo, play Africa."

---Hilary as she was explaining how much she hates the song Africa.

Garth: "We should use the Mahalanobis distance; it would be more accurate."

Youlin: ". . ."

Youlin: "Love is a luxury."

---Youlin zoning out during project meeting.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm the definition of trying too hard."

---Youlin trying too hard to get a new quote.

"Spongebob Squarepants? Should really be: Spongebob Rectangular Cuboidpants."

---Garth explaining rods during a Rods meeting.

Nita: "Sreya are you analytical or physical?"

Sreya: "I don't know I've just been screwing and unscrewing things for the past 5 years."

---Sreya explaining the main work of her Ph.D career.

"Do you know anybody who likes very nice packaging?"

---Sreya trying to determine who Alex got for secret santa.

"I don't get it. It's horrible tasting."

---Youlin eating some type of American food.

"Commitment and I'm an alcoholic."

---Alex doesn't remember what this is about, since he is an alcoholic."

"We've been talking about food for three hours."

---Scott after we were talking about food for three hours.

"Oh I love Lord of the Rings!"

---Casey responding to the question "Who else likes horror movies?"

"If you keep drinking water you'll die."

---Youlin advocating for consumption of hot water.

Cody: "What up dog?"

Shijie: ". . ."

Shijie: ". . ."

Shijie: "Yeah . . ."

---Awkward interaction between Shijie and Cody.

"Scott, move! It's science! Why do you think you are here?"

---Janny to Scott when trying to shoot him with a Nerf gun.

"...I've been touching kids all day."

---Said Janny during PLU discovery days.

"Think about what normal people would do."

---Justin accidentally did an honest review of the group.

"Not if you practice!"

---When Paul pointed out that beer run didn't appear to be safe, Safety Officer Janny gave an authorized reply.


---When Emma asked "Where does this matrix come from", Garth replied.

"Well that's comparing apples and oranges... not even oranges... like, shoes!"

---Justin questioned the logic behind a manuscript.

"What's a blizzard? ... it doesn't sound like a real thing: it has two Z's in it!"

---When talking about an actual upcoming blizzard in town, Janny said.

"Mmm.. infinite π. I haven't had lunch yet."

---After staring at math for a long time, Garth said.

"Was I supposed to READ that?"

---Hilary questioning an approximately 10,000 word department email.

"Garth is wrong; StarTrek is right!"

---When arguing about serious scientific theories, Shane stated.

"It's gonna be okay."

---Garth tried to comfort Emma when science went wrong.

"... like that's some kind of good thing!"

---Emma made her mind and popped the over-optimism.

"Why is vvDFG always in Garth's imagination?"

---Shijie asked why a meeting on group calendar for a project never happened. Location of the meeting read, "Garth's imagination".

"I'm just thinking... Bob Fischetti? BFF?"

---When being told that Dr. Robert Fischetti's middle initial was F, Garth found an interesting fact.

"One photon to the other."

---Garth asked "What's the TPA ratio", and Justin calmly answered.

"Nothing in this lab is linear."

---When Ximeng introduced the group to visitors.

"Many moons ago, we hit a crystal with a protein..."

---"Ouch", said crystal.

"Maybe you should take 621."

---Justin recommended that Garth take his own course.

"It tastes chiral."

---When Garth asked how the new SHG coffee tasted, Shijie replied.

"Can I take you through the math? You don't have to listen!"

---When Garth made an attempt to enjoy life.

"I don't like tomatoes... so chili is difficult for me."

---Justin complained how hard life was when the group went for chili for lunch.

"I mean from a cost standpoint, I have to think it would be cheaper to just grow raspberries than to harvest beavers."

---Paul expressed his opinion on using beaver secretion for artificial raspberry flavor.

"My presentation is gonna be crap... but it's okay because the pizza will be good."

---Emma pointed out the essence of group meetings.


---Said Shane after knocking down a hard drive which Chris had put in an obviously unsafe place.


---Said Justin right after he broke an expensive instrument, re-using Shane's quote to save resources and the planet.

"What if we microtome a Jolly Rancher?"

---Garth proposed a new project.



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